Orlando Lens
By Nicholas Ware
April 16
- Oblivion - PG-13 - Science Fiction - The pre-summer movie season kicks off with director Joseph Kosinski's follow-up to his debut Tron Legacy. Tom Cruise stars as one of the last human beings on a post-apocalyptic Earth in this graphic novel adaptation. Oblivion opened in foreign markets last week and already made a tidy $60 million.
- Pain & Gain - R - Action - Big-deal movie stars Mark Walberg and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson star in the newest nonsense extravaganza from cinema blight Michael Bay. I don't know if you could tell, but I'm not excited about this one at all. Supposedly the leads play bodybuilders who decide to steal from a prominent businessman. These are the heroes, folks, a couple juice-heads who rob a guy! Hi-jinks, I'm sure, will ensue.
- The Big Wedding - R - Romantic Comedy - The romcom-for-grown-folks has become a genre unto itself thanks to the participation of quality actors like Jack Nicholson, Meryl Streep, and Alec Baldwin. The Big Wedding features four Academy Award winners, continuing this streak. Of course there's a big lie (the groom's parents are divorced and his birth mother is a strict Catholic) and shenanigans (which should not be confused with the previously-mentioned hi-jinks), but I'm assuming Susan Sarandon isn't on 'roids and looking to run a heist.
- Iron Man 3 - Superhero Action - PG-13 - Does this one need a description? It's more comic book mayhem with everyone's favorite billionaire playboy drunk, Tony Stark. This time he's in more danger than ever before. (Spoiler: He will always be in more danger than ever before. That's how these thing work.) Anyway, if you're a fan of the Marvel movies, this one's a must-see because thanks to the Disney megamarketing amalgam, every Marvel movie has continuity with every other one. Go see it, nerds! I'll be there too!
- The Great Gatsby - Drama - PG-13 - This one, like all Baz Luhrmann films, could either be spectacular or a spectacular mess. The casting is great (Leonardo Dicaprio, Tobey Macguire, and Carrie Mulligan), the art direction looks luscious, but we'll see how well the anachronistic soundtrack and Luhrmann's penchant for bloat end up affecting the final product.
- Tyler Perry Present Peeples - Romantic Comedy - PG-13 - This one is a Tyler Perry Present, not a Tyler Perry's, so expect less y'all-women-need-Church-and-a-Christian-man sermonizing and more charming comedy from the under-appreciated Craig Robinson and somehow-not-the-most-famous-female-actress-in-the-world Kerry Washington. Plus, good ol' DAG! I will rent the heck out of this on DVD.
May 17
- Star Trek Into Darkness - Science Fiction - PG-13 - There are two camps when it comes to J.J. Abrams' Star Trek reboot film. Those that enjoyed it, and those that are stiff-necked unbearable purists who don't realize that the original Trek series and films are pretty flimsy. I'm in the first camp so I'm looking forward to this reboot sequel about as much as I was the original: a l'il bit. Well, ok, it has Benedict Cumberbatch (the man with the most British name of all time) from the BBC series Sherlock, so maybe a l'il bit more than a l'il bit.
