By Samir MathurContributing writer
Staff page
How Do You Know (Rated PG-13) opens this Friday in cinemas nationwide. Click here to see Orlando showtimes.
Ugh, this thing. Let’s start with the title. “How Do You Know” might be the most prosaic, least evocative, name for a movie I’ve ever heard. I’m not saying that every release has to be named “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” or “Snakes on a Plane”, but come on, you’ve got to give us something. I hear “How Do You Know” and all it tells me is that someone is going to have to make a decision of some kind. Fair enough, but doesn’t that describe every movie, and especially, every romantic comedy movie, that exists?
So I was already mad at this movie before it began, but I’m a patient sort, so I was happy to give it a chance. I like all of the lead actors, and writer/director James L. Brooks will forever be in my personal hall of fame thanks to his involvement with The Simpsons. And the last couple of times Brooks has worked with Jack Nicholson, the latter has won Oscars, so that’s a pretty good sign, right?
At the heart of the film is a love triangle between a professional softball player named Lisa (Reese Witherspoon), a superstar pitcher for the Nationals (Owen Wilson) and an executive, played by Paul Rudd, who is being indicted for corporate fraud. Lisa is very headstrong and self-reliant, although her bathroom mirror is covered with post-its of motivational quotations. She has just been dropped from the U.S. national team (this happens at the very beginning – not a spoiler) and is trying to figure out her life from here.
The two guys between whom she has to choose are painted incredibly broadly: Wilson is the kind of dude that has an entire closet in his apartment full of baby-pink sweatshirts and jogging pants, so that ladies won’t have to leave in the dress they were wearing last night. Even though he’s affectionate and genuine, he has no understanding of women’s feelings/emotions at all, and never comprehends why Lisa gets upset with him. Considering how strong-willed Lisa is supposed to be, it seems a mystery that she puts up with him at all.
And then there’s George (Rudd), who seems nice enough, but obviously distracted by that whole federal investigation and possible incarceration thing. Lisa and George go on a date and it’s painfully awkward and that should be that, but this being a rom-com, their paths will cross again and blah blah blah. Again, because Lisa is played as tough and independent, it comes off as unnatural for her to give George a second look. His actions reminded me of that Onion story – Romantic-Comedy Behavior Gets Real-Life Man Arrested. All three main characters are largely oblivious to each other’s feelings the entire time, which you’ll either find a hilarious series of misunderstandings, or, like me, highly annoying and contrived.
There’s also a subplot involving George and his father, played by Nicholson. The first time the two appear onscreen together, the dad screams at his son. Absolutely rips him, in front of his own employees. Despite this relationship clearly setting off on the wrong foot, there’s another ongoing “How Do You Know” dilemma here regarding how father and son deal with their legal troubles. This plot doesn’t really satisfy either. The best part of the film involves George’s secretary/only friend, played very well by Kathryn Hahn, showing off her newborn baby and it presents everyone as vulnerable and real, if only for a short moment.
The performances were all fine – I was especially happy to see Paul Rudd in something better than this summer’s excruciating “Dinner for Schmucks,” but all of the characters are just so one-note that I didn’t root for any of them, or understand their decisions, or share their doubts, or relate to them in any way at all. Apart from the hospital room scene I mentioned above, and the occasional chuckle, there wasn’t much here to elevate this above your standard rom-com fare, and given the personnel involved here, I expected much more.