Our 2017 Orlando Holiday Guide has 116 Fun Events!
By Mark Baratelli
Oh eff you downtown developers with your shifty fingers and puss-dripping grins. While us plebian locals have been mind-fucked into thinking downtown Orlando is the future, watching skyscrapers announcements pile up and gaggles of apartment buildings sprout up, you're busy killing any chance of a decent retail scene building downtown! You're charging retail rents only vomit-spotted brands can pay. We shat ourselves when we got a Walgreens. AN EFFING WALGREENS.
Now downtown Orlando's SEVENTH 7-11 is coming to the very last vacant commercial space in Crescent Central Station's already shitty ground floor retail lineup. In the pre-construction renderings, the word "restaurant" sits elegantly above the entrance of the space. In the Master Sign Plan for this space submitted to the City, the 7-11 logo death drops to a squat waiting for applause.
No restaurant. All bullshit.
This building's entire retail offering is crap including:
Instead of this:
We're getting this:
EFF YOU DEVELOPERS
Now downtown Orlando's SEVENTH 7-11 is coming to the very last vacant commercial space in Crescent Central Station's already shitty ground floor retail lineup. In the pre-construction renderings, the word "restaurant" sits elegantly above the entrance of the space. In the Master Sign Plan for this space submitted to the City, the 7-11 logo death drops to a squat waiting for applause.
No restaurant. All bullshit.
This building's entire retail offering is crap including:
- Planet Smoothie
- Dunking Donuts
- Philly Connection
- Elegant Cleaners Tailor
- Envy Nails & Spa
Instead of this:
We're getting this:
EFF YOU DEVELOPERS
