The $8 meat & cheese board hit the spot before the show, but they need to use a different cracker. The one I had was soggy. I still ate it, though. I was hungry.
By Mark Baratelli
Not a Theatre Critic
I'd never been to Dr Phillips Center for the Performing Arts til Tuesday night. Fairwinds Broadway Series stopped giving me free tickets when they moved the shows from Bob Carr to Dr Phil. They told me the reason was because the shows were selling out and they didn't need my presence. I think it's because I took a year off blogging and my relevance sank.
But I am back and so are the orchestra seats, boo. Haaaaaay.
The show I saw Tuesday night was Cinderella. It's a musical about a poor lady with a heart of gold who meets a classy man with an equally golden heart. Together they save a kingdom, forgive a step-mother and marry each other . Was that a spoiler? I don't know. I don't watch TV.
The voices in the show were flawless. Cinderella was so perfect she sounded like she was lip synching to a track like Mariah in 2005 except for that part where she hacked and coughed 5 times while she sang about corners while never actually sitting in one. Someone get Cinderella a corner, even if it's a tiny one shoved on stage by the two ladies who play the puppet beaver and badger. They're not busy.
The evil step mother was played like a ladies-who-lunch, silicone-lipped self-important rich white woman. Her giraffe-necked evilness should have made every Winter Park glamor hag say to herself, "That's me." I would agree, but the step mother is funny. You are not.
The skinny step sister sang like a Hello Kitty-shaped 'nilla wafer, had comedic timing like a UCB-trained improviser and made me laugh which is hard because right now I'm fat and nothing makes me laugh when I'm fat. The fat step-sister was just as top-notch. Her wig was operatic and unnecessary. That talented actor could have made the audience laugh without the costume.
I want to point out the comedy in this show. It was controlled, appropriate and not self-indulgent. No one shat up the stage with miserable on-the-road stage debauchery. "Hey the director's gone, let's put in some new bits!" No m'am. This cast was on point with that pacing, intention, and professional sense of humor. No one in the cast seemed to want to go beyond that invisible comedic forcefield that makes the audience haaaaaaate you.
The ensemble dresses overall were too short for me. I wanted floor length, which was only given to Cinderella. And yet she's the only one whose shoes we need to see. The hell?
At times I wanted Cinderella to be a bit more present and relatable. But then I thought that'd be a crap idea because it would clash with the comedic roles.
I also needed more shimmer-shammer in that white Cinderella dress. It was flat. It had layers, but they were skinny. Can Winona in costuming shellac a couple fake gems from Joanne Fabrics on there before the Wednesday matinee?
When the Fairy Godmother flew, she held onto the wires. And what does it buy you to have the lady tooting' around the rafters when clearly she ain't flappin' wings or waving a wand. Maybe shove some robotic movement into that horn-shaped hair pick she had stuck up in the middle of her Phantom of the Opera Raul cast wig?
The drapery got stuck in the fly space when they flew it in for the first Prince scene.
When the step mother rips the pink dress parts off, my brain says "velcro or snaps." The rips are so clean it looks like fake. Maybe some tatters and what not? I want to see violence in those rips dammit.
Why the eff was the Prince fighting a giant paper mache grasshopper kite? This is not a story told by a traveling band of merry actors so why the representational puppet? I know the horse was on wheels and the coach was being spun by two ensemble dancers, but that bug just bugged me. Can the grasshopper at least be a dragon?
Bottom line, though I was late to Act 2 (I had to pee) and missed the part where Cinderella's dress is (apparently) whisked into the fireplace (probably by one of the two ensemble ladies who do the chipmunk puppetry), the parts of the show I saw were enjoyable, funny, poignant and worth you spending money on. Even though I didn't because blog.
Why was an American flag inside the theatre?